i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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