you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
