the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
