Me. At least after what I've been through.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
