An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
