what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
