just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
