it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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