addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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