i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
