I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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