Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize