My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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