her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
