i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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