the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
