Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
