i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize