i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
