I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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