I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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