bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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