Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
