the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
