I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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