youre lurking in front of me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
