How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
