I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize