I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
