Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
