Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
