Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
this boner is exhausting
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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