he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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