My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
