love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
