you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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