IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
