He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
