2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize