Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
