Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
