You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
