I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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