I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
