Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My penis needs a shock collar
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Randomize
