I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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