he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
