I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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