and you said cock pushups were impossible
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
