5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
