One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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