Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
