he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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