Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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