found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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