I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
