That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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