Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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